"Childish" Meditation and Nature

ONLY A FEW, CERTAIN, AND SPECIFIC objects or events in the life of a grownup (adult) would reveal the inherent inner child, and I suppose the sense of wonder is one of those events having such a magical property. Magic it surely is for the “adult” mind to deviate from its “know-all-ness” and accept something with the simplest of virtues of bewilderment that a child is so naturally capable of, requires a lot of magnanimity on the part of that object or idea.

On the other hand, the given object, idea or event, however, may be as ingenious or insignificant or simple as getting trickled down on your windshield without rain whilst you wait for the lights to change at an intersection. It may be simply due to the car in the front of you having its sprinklers off-target and splashing the water jets from over its hood, down towards your car behind..! Those bemusing ten seconds (or less, or perhaps more?) that it takes you to finally figure out what is going on, is the time spent under the amazing realm of wonder and amazement that a child it so very well aware of; and which the adults “choose” to drop off in the process of growing up...

Meditation is the beginning of the journey of looking within, getting inside of one’s Self, and more often than not the first person (no pun intended) one encounters there, waiting, is that child 'avatar' of the self. It is this inner child that takes one’s hand and leads the person on the path of meditation, which is illuminated by amazement and wonder, and no less than a fairytale.

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens..." -- Carl Jung

Being in Africa, especially at the equator, was a very special experience. Climbing a hill nearby at dawn or dusk provided with the wonderful opportunity of watching the panoramic view, far and wide, wild and majestic. The horizon in any given direction had to have its own panache, in the backdrop of the blue sky, featuring fresco using a couple of random colours from the rainbow, that had to be different from the horizon of any other direction at that time. Standing still, marvelling the beauty looking in a given direction, and slowly turning on the heels, completing the circle with the patience and the absolute openness of non-expectation and non-anticipation, like a child completely captured by the kaleidoscopic view of a given turn of the cylinder, one had no escape but to get the sense of being spontaneously blown away by amazement. It was like putting oneself inside of a giant electric bulb, and letting a child run wild with paint and brush on the outer surface of the huge dome, creating a colourful chaos that has a certain mesmeric and divine beauty.

As the Master would have it:

"Posing and taking a moment to marvel the beauty of nature, and involuntarily letting out ‘Ahh..’ is but an instant participation in divinity…"

The view from that hilltop was perhaps the perfect example to relate to such a participation. And the experiences were nothing short of a divine prayers, spoken silently, lead by the Child within, and supported by the chorus of bird songs and leaves ruffling with the breeze without.

It is the sense of wonder, amazement and the innocence of non-reason of a child that creates the fairytale, and that is which the elders, especially from the psychology fraternity would want to call a dream… Whilst the child outlook is facing inwards, the dream outlook is facing outwards; and as Jung has put it so simply:

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens..."

Ingenuity and Meditation

"... develop self-reliance and ingenuity [...] If I have to explain everything, you'll get used to having things handed to you on a platter. And then what will you do when problems come up in your meditation and you don't have any experience in figuring things out on your own? [...] "

DINO HAS BEEN A CLOSE FRIEND. Over the years we have been sharing and learning a lot together and from each other. It was sincerely heart-warming to meet with him again last week after a few years. Dino has been unique (like everybody else) in that there were many unusual things combined as a single package and collectively titled "Dino". For starters, Dino invented the (name for) game of cosmic tetris…

Ingenuity is celebrating the individual uniqueness using personal creativity - a cloak tailor made by self, for self, to fit self.

• • •

Bench-buddies:
A few years ago Dino and I were together in our initial, highly volatile and experimenting stages of meditative existence. We were given certain instructions by the master, and were asked to contemplate about it, and then try to meditate on it by focusing on self. We found an empty bench during the course of the early afternoon and thought it was perfect to try and do that homework. We sat on the bench in our own right, three or four feet apart, assumed lotus position, and went about our business. About five minutes into it, and I could not help but open at least one eye in an effort to see what Dino was up to, for it was almost futile for me to carry on that day. Dino was still, and so I waited for a couple of more minutes. When I tried to check again, I found Dino also checking on me, only he shut his eyes as soon as he found me looking.

After about ten minutes of such hide and seek, we turned the bench around to make it face the white wall, and gave it another try. It seemed to work. Over the years thereafter, facing eastward close to the wall for meditation became our standard practice. Later we also found that a corner worked even better for it would bounce the energies back on to me and I found myself lasting longer in my sittings.

• • •

Super-quick Mantra Chantings:
A certain mantra was prescribed to each of us one day, and it turned out to be unexpectedly difficult for me to practice with it - Like a wet soap bar it kept slipping away. Dino, it seemed, was doing fine a few feet away with his own practice. After Dino was done, I asked him how it went and he said he did not practice that day with the mantra either, he was rather doing the standard practice. It appeared he had had similar issues as I was having (Perhaps it was the language?). We decided to approach the master. The task of practicing the given technique was not complete, and so we were a little nervous for it was expected out of us to be diligent. Master listened to us separately and then addressed jointly:

"... mantra, chanting, sound, music, smell, incense, touch-and-gesture, posture, rhythm, body movement, breathing and control, picture-and-idols, are but only tools and techniques to hold your level of consciousness at a certain higher level, with a specific and purposeful channeling of thoughts and energies [feelings and experiences]…"

"... what I saw however made me drop my jaw. It was not a higher level experience for me, nor it was an earthquake; it was Dino!..."

Master further observed that if we supposed we could maintain our level of awareness without the suggested support of the given technique (mantra chanting, in this case), it was okay at that stage, but the technique was not to be underestimated, neither the adaptability of self to it… Both of us later practiced using the technique of mantra chanting and benefited a lot from it. In doing so, however, the element of originality was not so far behind: Dino and I came up with another kind of practice also. With chanting, pronunciations become especially important for without it the meaning and thus the channel is sometimes lost. Whilst we abided by these rules and practiced, we also practiced with a super quick recitations - a normal mantra that takes say ten seconds was pronounced in about three seconds, and such recitations were continuous and as quick as possible. Here the pronunciations might get garbled, yet the hyperventilating channel thus created used to take us to a different level all together. When conferred with Master over this, we were cautioned for maintaining the respect towards the techniques and avoid any playfulness with the sacredness of mantras (for which we were to take our vows); on the other hand however, we were not asked to discontinue the hyperventilating practice or such ingenuous explorations either.

There are certain special tantra, yantra, owl and vampire, et al practices very specific for such purposes. However, we never did anything other than 'Sātvik' (pure and white energy) practices under the aegis of the master. Whilst it was appreciated to have ingenuity and self-cultivated practices based on our own conditioning and requirements, moderation always remained the key, with the master watching over our shoulders.

• • •

It Was Dino!
Dino and I were practicing for a special purpose since a few weeks. We were approaching a certain stage after which we were to change to a different method. That could have happened only if we mastered this said stage and its techniques first (only to drop it subsequently!). Dino and I were sitting in lotus position on the bench facing the wall and were going about the standard practice. It appeared that it was a really good day for me for I was having a lot of positive flux in the surroundings.

I was going into my practice where gradually but surely I found myself having minor tremors. It was very curious. The tremors, in a continuous rhythmic fashion, were being perceived from the base - the pelvic area - rising upwards. I got pretty exited, and concerned also for not loosing it. I thought (honestly) it was the kind of experience that perhaps I was waiting for - all along. A moment to cherish perhaps... Something was happening after all!

After a moment or two though I realised that the sensation was somehow more external than I would have liked, and I came back rising up into "outerness". It seemed to be more related to the place we were sitting upon. That was when I first thought that perhaps it was an earthquake! It was alarming... I opened my eyes to see where Dino was so that we could react to the situation...

What I saw however made me drop my jaw. It was not a higher level experience for me, nor it was any earthquake. It was Dino! It was Dino who was shaking his leg so hard that the whole bench, me included, was rattling with him, and I was feeling like riding a horse... I was perplexed!

I had never seen Dino like this - doing anything like that during practices. When I tried to make Dino aware of it by first gently and than vigorously shaking him out of it, he came back very mad at me. Apparently I had dragged him out of, and thus prevented, a very high level of experience for him that day (and I felt really sorry about it). It was his shaking the leg that gave him that extra 'push' that day to top all of his previous experiences thus far.

When master asked exactly when did he start doing that motion with his leg during that sitting, Dino was not aware of it. Master smiled, for it was such spontaneous ingenuity, "letting go", that was found in the making of an ideal meditator.

Meditation Is a State

FROM THE FEET OF MY MASTER:

meditation is neither an act, nor a practice

meditation is a state

being is a state of consciousness, so is meditation

being is a transitory state, so is meditation

you reach there, remain there, retreat from there, regress from there, egress from there

a perfect meditation merges with Being

you utilize it to serve a certain purpose, to go beyond the state of being and non-being; once achieved you drop it off

you make it bring to your feet the powers of here-and-now for you to submit to them

"in thy shoes"
following the foot-steps
one at a time
appreciating the difference
growing

Inside-out Black-whole and Meditation

“The ideal people are those who, in the deepest silence and seclusion, are capable of the most intense activity, and in performing the most intense activity experience the stillness and solitariness of the desert. They have learned the secret of self-control […]”

FOCUSING ON SELF IS SIMPLE and easy, we do it all the time. Focusing on Self, however, is a different ballgame. Cultivating Self-awareness is tough. The correct mind-set within the given premise of an experienced and realised master, can surely enlightened the path, provided one is willing to make the journey.

By accepting one’s existence as it is, through self-awareness, one is becoming more and more self-focused. As a precursor to that in certain cases however, one becomes self-centric. That is to say, one is putting oneself in the centre of this “Samsara”, this storm, this madness that spins uncontrollably, incessantly, intensely. But by not being overwhelmed by the chaos around is the only way to realise and appreciate the condition of being in the centre of the storm, being in the eye-of-the-storm, where, (ask any weatherman) the wind is not that intense, the spin is moderate, the mayhem is neither visible nor heard; being in the eye of the storm is in fact (relatively) peaceful, such as experiencing “... the stillness and solitude of a desert whilst being in the most intense activity...”

Why there is peace at the centre of a storm?

Why the core of a black-hole is called singularity?

The Master replied:

“whilst there is this empirical explanation saying black-holes are very powerful transitory routes that make matter travel from one state and dimension to another; the spiritual metaphor on the other hand recognises [singularity] with Oneness of everything…”

Well, let’s call it black-whole. Black-whole: Black, for it is darkness that everything comes from, and into which everything goes back. Whole, for it is the Wholeness that is to be realised; wholeness that is the Salvation (Salvation comes from the Latin root 'salvare', which means 'to save', to make whole). That is to say, when you find your Self and the wholeness, you attain your own salvation, so to speak.

What is the appreciation of light if it is not for darkness? Rather, darkness is the mother of light - to be conceived as well as to be consumed. We celebrate darkness by yielding to the light, by holding it, by spreading it, by propagating it. By worshipping light we yield to the reality that darkness is vast, all-pervading and overwhelming. We have to resort to light, to un-darkness, in order to capture darkness and understand it. Celebration of stars in the night sky owe their beauty and realised existence to the landscape of the darkness; for the stars hold their positions even during the day, only to be undone by the “light” of the Sun rays. In its this universal format darkness IS reality.

All beings want to feel the fulfilment. All beings thrive for it day in and day out, in multiple, unique, small and big ways at every step of every walk of life; thriving it with mind, and with matter. However, in the realms of time and space, among the pairs of opposites, this contentment keeps eluding us, making us chase it in and with mind, body and spirit; filling our lifetimes. Some know of this chase, some call it by different names - peace, light, realisation, purpose, meaning, love, or any other beautiful or intriguing “word”. The essence of the journey however remains the same: the contentment, the wholeness, within us, as manifestation of divinity within our physical and spiritual beings. The Atman. [Leading to an-atman...]

The unmovable centre within our being: Black-whole. One's own black-whole with the singularity within; and by turning inwards, one initiates this inescapable fall - drawing one inside of the black-whole, towards the core, to merge with one’s Self.
By turning inwards, the transitory journey begins.
A journey of experiences.
A journey that, as master says, would turn you inside-out.
(once again, turn you inside-out: first, it would turn you inside [towards your Self], and then it would throw you out towards the manifestation-at-large)

The journey that began with self-awareness has an accelerated speed now, with which one reveals hidden treasures of the Self and marvels at the changing perspectives of the persona and worldy outlooks. The whole world starts spinning at a speed dictated by her.

The journey is initiated within Self (Challenge met, adventure begins), barriers are broken (self-belief energised, weapons drawn), fears are faced and conquered (dragons slayed), guidance put to practice (secret help), transformation achieved (returns victorious).

When one comes out of the woods on the other side at the end of this adventure, one invariably finds oneself in the realms of meditation. A sereneness of stillness that has the whole universe spinning - as if capable of the most intense activity...

Self-awareness and Meditation

THE INWARD JOURNEY HAS TO BEGIN FROM SOMEWHERE, begin from the first step, such as Self-awareness. The simplest form of meditation that Vipassana prescribes is observation-of-breathing, which is, in other words, making one aware of one’s being. The process of being alive, the event of being alive, that which the aspirant has to experience firsthand. Perhaps the biggest reality of life that has been taken for granted. The fact that you are alive, that this body is not cold dead but is responsive, is being brought to focus and is being made the subject of contemplation.

And then there is this (one of my favorites) one of the simplest Zen meditation of one-to-ten. These are constructive practices that construct a mirror, if you will, inside the self, inside the psyche, using which you are being watched all the time, all the way, everywhere. You are being watched by your Self. This is Self-awareness. It is like putting a CCTV camera in every room of your mind. You can run, but you can’t hide. And that is a sort of an experience that many have had without any spiritual distillation or aid from meditative practices. “Someone” from inside makes you stand accountable, and demand answers for deeds that you have done (or have not done). A spiritual take on this situation means to suggest that if you are a “good” soul, that is, less or no amount of bad karma from your past lives have been wrapped around your soul and that you have carried forward into this life, your inner voice would be more pronounced.

"...it is like putting a CCTV camera in every room of your mind. You can run, but you can’t hide. “Someone” from inside makes you stand accountable..."In other words, being Self-aware is like producing a kind of an extremely thin membrane that, in initial stages observes your thoughts as they roam around your conscious mind. Later, the transparent membrane is transformed to start filtering your thoughts as they pass by. Then, it starts interfering with and influencing the thoughts as they come and go. In its advanced stages, the membrane manipulates the origin of thoughts such that you think only that is good for you.

As Rumi said - Every word of every thought is a prayer; begins with you; ends with you.

The membrane is sub consciousness.

In the process as the membrane is being “installed” and slowly put to use, it may produce a slight lag in reaction-time of the mind. This delay is very tiny, measurable only in say milliseconds. But by doing so it attains another purpose also, namely, to intentionally produce a lag in instant reaction process of the mind. And this is the very definition of Yoga as per the original Sanskrit doctrine. Based on this, one may argue also that both, Yoga and Self-awareness practices, aim for the same goal which is introducing a membrane within the conscious activities of the mind. That is to say, arousal of sub consciousness and introducing it within the conscious thoughts.


The journey of experiences is wonderful...

Is Meditation a practice?

“…THE VERY ESSENCE OF THE MEDITATION - which has a very selfish motive at its core, though its outwardly reflections may perhaps be translating into selfless conducts and thoughts…
… Doing meditation is selfish for I do it for my own sake, for my own self-realization.
… One may argue that it is for my peace of mind, or for my better understanding of self, or for a proper meaning of my life, or for my joy and enlightenment, or for a divine experience for me, of for my Nirvana, or for my this or my that; each and every of it is for my own sake, that is in the main, and that’s that…”

The master was not present during this particular gathering, and that suited my motive for experimenting certain "wild thoughts", if you may, as above in a general forum for open discussions. To be honest, I had expected quite an acidic reaction from the audience since for many meditation usually become the "final resort before insanity" so to speak for justifying their existence and being alive in this world. And, by Jupiter, they would fight tooth and nail to uphold their ideal, striking a similarity with the fanatism stemming from the deserts of the East.

Surprisingly no opposition came save a couple of minor grunts and “ohhs” or “ahhs”; giving mixed fillings. On one hand, the fellow mates seem to see enough merit at least to contemplate on this wild thought before reacting wildly (excuse the pun :-). That was the good part. The bad part was that I had expected an argumentative and infuriating debate (also testing the personal vigil and stillness of mind that the fellows suppose to exercise when provoked). No debate happened, at least none started at that immediate moment, and that was a kind of a let down.

After a while though, the toast started sinking in and the soup seemed to simmer, letting out its first aroma and setting the stage. “Well, meditation - or whatever that I do right now in its current form - seems to be selfish.” came the first reply, continuing: “But at least I am reflecting on it myself and accepting it as it is. Not that I want it to be as such, but that’s what it is… and I bet many of us are in the same state, whether you want to admit it or not…”.
“Well, I see where you are coming from,” I put in encouragingly, “and first off, I must appreciate your not accepting the illusion of being in a state otherwise. As master puts forward in more ways than one: Leave your footwear, ego and illusions outside while entering this room…” I was also appreciating the personal courage that middle-aged man had shown in facing his own Self in this statement. “But, that’s not we wanted to, isn’t it?” came the next point immediately from my friend who had argued at length previously while discussing celibacy. As if in protest of being cheated for the product differing from its depiction and description on the box, she continued: “I thought being selfish is un-spiritual? Uh?” She was right for she was too new to appreciate the magnanimity and depth of both the words - Meditation, and Selfish.
I wished the master was around.

“Heck… Sometimes meditation can be un-spiritual also” someone interjected triggering a quick round of giggles. “I mean, look at Bill Gates… He is a perfect meditator, if you will, only that his subject of meditation is Dollars… Billions of Dollars… And he does it really well, by god!” some more giggles, but the point was not lost. Bill Gates indeed is an accepted Guru (of capitalism) by hundreds of thousands (if not more) of people around the world that some of the smaller established religions and cults would envy I suppose. (Money making cult, anyone?)

“Okay, so we are saying that selfishness is un-spiritual, and meditation can be un-spiritual also…” but before I could proceed further, someone else jumped in, “Not exactly… You see, meditation and selfishness both can and can not be un-spiritual. A context is required for both to ascertain their un-spiritual-ness, or the other way around. Being selfish while dealing among goons to profit from them and then donating it to a charity or say to a meditation spa is, in my opinion, a virtuous and spiritual act.” Robin Hood immediately came to mind, but it was not my intent to debate on Robin Hood’s spirituality at that moment; it was better to steer the discussion away from it: “interesting… but then, I suppose these are two different ‘things’ really… Unless you want to consider meditation as an ‘act’, and treat it in parity with selfishness…”

So, there we are - is Meditation an act? Is it a practice? Or a method or a discipline? Is it universal, or say, ubiquitous among spiritual paths - historical as well as contemporary, organized as well as unstructured, wealthy and also the poor?

The soup continues to simmer further...

Is Meditation Selfish?

“WHAT WOULD BE THE SIMPLEST form of meditation?”
“uh… um… Good question actually… hmm… I don’t know…”
“Let me answer that… I think it is to sit-and-shut your eyes and focus on a still point… Like my guru said… As simple as that…”
“Nah… that one’s rather complicated… It works okay only in the beginning may be, but ends up as boring… I suppose the simplest one is the one that is not prescribed but self-cultivated…”
“I don’t think so… You need a guide to take you along, and for that to work for you, you need to take the path that is rather prescribed - to use your word…”
“Oh well, I was coming from the fact that a meditation does not require religion; rather it’s the other way around…”
“That’s absurd! Why would you meditate at all if not for a religion or a practice…?”
“That’s selfish, ain’t it?”
“Wait a minute, what I meant was to meditate for the sake of meditation rather than anything else, and that includes your religion part as well…”
“That doesn’t make sense… uh? You are drunk already!”
“Hey, listen everyone… before we get into that getting drunk thing and argue till we all start throwing up, Jim is right I suppose… Meditation should be for the sake of meditation, that is primary; using a certain religious technique is secondary perhaps - say its the means rather than the end…”

“the very essence of meditation has a very selfish motive at its core, though its outwardly reflections may perhaps be translating into selfless conducts and thoughts…” That was a recent discussion that I was having among a bunch of us guys over the New Year long weekend. And I think it is interesting enough to pick it up again, rub it a bit more and let it continue to become a more interesting one. I suppose Jim was right because apparently (as it is true for most beginners) he was pointing to the very essence of meditation - which has a very selfish motive at its core, though its outwardly reflections may perhaps be translating into selfless conducts and thoughts. As you begin, doing meditation is selfish for I do it for my own sake, for my own self-realization. One may argue that it is for my peace of mind, or for my better understanding of self, or for a proper meaning of my life, or for my joy and enlightenment, or for a divine experience for me, of for my Nirvana, or for my this or my that; each and every of it is for my own sake, that is in the main, and that’s that. And it appears to me that that is the ultimate selfish motive of all in the world. Having said that, I don’t think there is anything wrong in that either.

On the other hand, meditation - or say the premise of meditation - is making of losers. Yes, spare a moment to think about it. The more you go deeper into it, you got to give up this and that - materials and motives, desires and feelings, senses and pleasures - the very aspects that term you as human as per the biological definition accepted by the state. The more you focus on your meditation-life and more it takes you away from your role in the life and society as a “normal” member for you would be even dropping the most basic of the rules of society - buy, borrow or still; you would rather beg. Financially a disaster, socially a failure, personally a walking self-delusion, professionally an unprofessional. The bid of self-mastery would not help even the physical body of the person - how many of the so called christen leaders (Pope John XXIII), masters (Gungthang Rinpoche) and Gurus (Ramakrishna) of the world have died rather tragically due to cancer or similar pitiful terminal ailment.

That leads me to a very important and interesting turn of thoughts - so, what do I expect? What do I expect out of meditation…?

The classical answer is: Nothing.

I propose to elaborate further on the subject with more in-depth thinking, contemplation, and reviews during next few posts...

Happy New Year

H A P P Y • N E W • Y E A R : 2 0 0 8

Mayan Sun-wheel Calender that would "reboot" itself in 2012.